ABBA……….Who do you belong to?!

This song has been resonating in my spirit since last night:

Abba, I belong to You

You are more real than the ground I stand on

You are more real than the wind in my lungs

Your thoughts define me, you’re inside me, you’re my reality

You are closer than the skin on my bones

You are closer than the song on my tongue

ABBA I belong to You

You came running down my prodigal road

You came running with a ring and a robe

Grace is the collision on the way back home

with the arms of the Father who won’t let go

ABBA I belong to YOU

…..words by Jonathan & Melissa Hesler

It’s a wonderful experience to realize God, Abba is my personal Father, at least as much as my earthly mind can allow.  He chases after me and comforts me.  He tells me I’m His and directs my path.  My very existence is because of Him.  My reason for being and who I am is ALL due to Him.  The One who encourages me when I feel I can’t go on or facing new challenges on this journey called Christian living.  No matter what weapon forms, He promises it will not prosper.  He is always by my side. Even the things I cause due to disobedience or just not seeking Him completely, He turns it around for my good or gives me a way out.

No amount of earthly interaction can trump the Father’s love, wisdom and care He provides to me.  So I say, ABBA I belong to YOU!!  What is man or his opinion when I’m the daughter of The King…ABBA, I BELONG TO YOU!!

My prayer is that we realize who we belong to, our benefits of that relationship and what He says about His sons and daughters.  I pray we allow His Word to resonate louder than any other words in our hearts and minds…filling us up MORE with His Spirit.

Be blessed.






I Ask What…Often?!

I have started calling myself the Root Cause Queen.  I feel like I’m in a season or should I say a constant state of change, revelation and just plain ole getting to know myself.  I realize that God is the only One capable of fixing the issues in my life.  I’m talking about my internal mind and spirit and soul.  You know those components of my psyche that make me uniquely me but at the same time should reflect the life of a Christian living and loving on God’s terms.  I just want to be right in His eyes.

So I’m asking God to reveal to me the root causes of my insecurities.  The things that cause me to seek peoples approval when I know I only need and have His approval.  The things that make me feel less than even when I know I ROCK for lack of a better term and no boasting or pride intended.  I just feel like I’m in a season where I don’t have time to waste but still struggle with hindrances holding me back.  So I ask WHAT!!

Lord, WHAT is the cause of my inner most struggles with people pleasing, seeking approval, sensitivities to comments when I clearly know better.  What is in me that needs to be released to God for my complete deliverance to occur?  What makes me tick or not tick?

Now, today I’m not going to ask what again..maybe..but I will listen for the answer.  I believe God knows my heart and will provide the answer for what is ailing me.  I believe He will not allow me to continue having these unanswered questions about myself because I am seeking Him wholeheartedly for the answer.  I believe if I keep asking, seeking and knocking for Him to reveal things in my life that cause me to be stagnant in my purpose, He is faithful to reveal it..and assist me in handing it over to Him.  The great thing about that is He is capable and will fill me with MORE of HIM!!

I will not be afraid of revelation.  It is good for my soul and spirit.  I will leave it in my Fathers hands.  I will grow from this place.  I will RECEIVE MORE!

Be blessed until next time!


Ocean Waves

I don’t exactly know when my love for the ocean surfaced.  I think it started when I took my first cruise with my Mother in 2004.  I found myself just sitting on the deck of the ship being mesmerized by the waves.  It felt scary and calming all at the same time.  I mean, people die in the ocean, the depth is unimaginable but it’s something about it that calms and relaxes me.  I guess that’s what God’s creation does..bring joy and pain.

Several weeks ago I took a vacation to Myrtle Beach.  Again, I found myself sitting on beach, letting my bare feet sink into the sand and stare off into the deep blue…just watching the waves for hours…thinking and praying and people watching too.  I can’t swim, fear of God’s creation, never the less, there I was mesmerized again.  So, what is this all about, the ocean waves and its ability to feed my soul.

I would like to believe that God speaks to me through His creation.  I’m not gonna get too deep, haha but I believe their are some parallels to life I can make here.  I’ve experienced many storms and waves in my life and when I think back God has carried me through them all.  I’ve felt more at peace when I didn’t’ fight the waves and just listen to His voice guiding me.  I’ve decided to let Him be my surfboard and life jacket.  He keeps me from sinking and getting knocked down.  But even when I do feel like I’m being tossed about and knocked down, He is my foundation so I don’t sink…I always resurface ready to move forward.

I’m choosing to let God fight the waves of life for me.  Trust in Him and His word which tells me He will never leave or forsake me.  He fights for me and all I have to do is stand.  He is the peace I need in every situation as long as I’m intentional about keeping my mind focused on Him…not the waves.

Be Blessed!!




An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which two opposite ideas are joined to create an effect.  I’m not sure if this is considered an oxymoron but in my mind, purpose in pain or purposeful pain definitely fits the bill.  In order to wrap my mind around the things that happen in life, the test and trials, the good but most often bad things that fit the purpose in pain category gives me some comfort to know my pain has a purpose….hmmmm

Let’s just consider the idea that we are really here on earth to serve and help others.  We are all connected by life experiences.  Experiences we must share because someone needs to hear how they can overcome like we did.  According to God’s plan, He is our Comforter He comforts us so we may be of comfort to others with the same love and comfort He provides to us.  Now if we could only keep this in mind when experiencing life challenges.  We are not alone because God said He would never leave or forsake us.  He fights for us.  He only wants our obedience and submission to His ways and will.  Being a child of God has benefits so why not share?  why not share how we’ve made it through our horror stories and came out victoriously?  why not share our pain that taught us some serious life lessons in an effort to prevent someone else from making the same mistakes?  why not share the pain that drove you to step out and walk in purpose?

My journey to blogging and now becoming a future author were all birthed in pain.  Looking back over my life and the various experiences I’ve had have all led to this point in time.  I now know my purpose in life is to live for God and to speak and write as He leads me.  I never thought my life was worth sharing or could benefit someone else.  I know differently now.

I pray God continues to grant me the strength, courage, boldness and wisdom to share His gospel and how His love has changed my life.  People need to hear the pain that led to my purpose.  People need to hear my ‘at the end of my rope, hanging from a thread, trying to hold on to the same spot’ and still trusting God even when I didn’t realize it stories.  May we always share so God is glorified!!

Be Blessed!!


Mother’s Day 2019

I’ve spent this Mother’s Day reflecting on previous Mother’s days since by Mom transitioned in 2008.  I really don’t have any grandiose memories.  I usually try to plant flowers or cook her favorite meal.  But the last couple of years I’ve just let the day play out as it plays out.  I admit I’m not in the same place I was mentally when she first died.  God has given me the grace and strength to face the day with my head up and no depression….it’s an intentional effort and reality.  Although the loss is felt it’s bearable for the most part…something I never thought I would be able to say.  I don’t have to feel guilty for not being sad or being ok without her being here…as much as I can anyway.  God has blessed me tremendously and I know my Mom would be proud of my walk with Christ and where I am in life…cheering me on.

I don’t remember much about 2008 but these two major life changing events:  May 2008 I graduated from Washington University with my Masters degree.  My Mom was right there by my side, proud and asking “when are you going back for your PhD.”  I remember saying with much attitude “let me get this over with first.”  In hindsight I know she only wanted what was best for me and to push me as far as I could go.  Seven months later, December 2008, my Mom took her last breaths with her children around her bed, praying and hoping God would perform a miracle and heal her body.  I think we all secretly knew that wasn’t going to be the case.

So, now here I am in 2019 striving to be a woman of God.  Trying to live a God-fearing life like my Mom showed me through her life.  I can’t fill her shoes nor do I aspire to any longer but I do understand her journey a little bit more each and every day I walk this walk.  My Mother will forever be in my mind, heart, and spirit.  Even when I think I have forgotten certain things about her, something comes to mind or I feel myself acting or responding like her (not intentionally, LOL) but she’s in my DNA!

I’m not sure I’ll remember this Mother’s Day for any particular reason other than it’s one more year God has blessed me not to succumb to grief but gratefulness that Delores Jean  was and is my Mother.  Our bond was orchestrated before the world began.  I was predestined to be her daughter and she would be my Mom forever even though she’s no longer here in the flesh.  I choose to live my life in honor of her and most importantly honoring God with my life.  He is the author and finisher of my faith.  I’m not sure I buy into the idea of her being my guardian angel but I do know I have a loving Father and Creator that carries me and strengthens me day to day.

I’m truly forever her baby girl…Happy Mother’s Day!!!


Is God really silent??

I have heard people, preachers and songwriters on numerous occasions say sometimes God is silent or when God is silent, we should trust His heart.  I can admit I’ve truly felt like He was silent at times in my life.  But recently I have begun to ponder over this question,  Is God really silent?  As Christians, our relationship with God gives us access to Him at ALL times.  This access is through our private time with Him whether in prayer, fasting, reading His Word or words of wisdom/knowledge from people.  We know His Word gives us truth and life, no matter if you’re reading the Old or New Testament, it still applies today.  His Word lays the foundation for our lives and how we should interact with Him, ourselves and people.  So, Is God really silent?

In my experience, I’ve felt God was silent when I wouldn’t, couldn’t or should’ve listened but didn’t because I was too engrossed in the situation, like all eyes on the problem not the fixer (now this viewpoint may change as I keep living, IDK).  Or maybe I had in my mind a certain way things were supposed to play out.  Maybe I was too lazy to go research that scripture that keeps coming to mind.  It’s quiet possible I was too full of WHY’s.  Basically, just not accepting the trials or challenges before me and trying to do things in my own strength and understanding.  So, Is God really silent?

I’m going to challenge myself to really pause when I feel tempted to say, “God, why or I don’t hear You right now.”  Maybe just maybe that’s when I dig deeper into His Word, pray and listen a little longer, remove distractions that cause noise in my mind, reflect on His promises and the last thing He spoke to me or simply reflect on how He has brought me through previous situations and how I heard His voice.

All of creation is available for me to hear the voice of God and see His handiwork.  Changing my perspective on who, how and when He speaks is key.  Remembering the peace, strength and guidance I experience from my  trusting and loving relationship with God proves He isn’t silent.  I serve an omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent Creator…surely HE isn’t silent!

Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song “Trust In You” and Be BLESSED!!




Am I moving?

This is a question I’ve asked myself not only today but on several occasions, “am I moving?”  I want to be in a state of growth and purposefully doing the things God has planned for me to do.  I keep getting into cycles of doing too much all in the name of helping others and gaining knowledge.  Well what I’ve realized is that too much knowledge is dangerous and confusing and helping in the wrong capacity isn’t really help at all (can you say enabler?).

The bible should be the main source of truth I turn to.  I’ve gotten busy reading supplemental material although it was scriptural based, going to various conferences and talking to people instead of talking and listening to God.  I was neglecting a lot of my personal God time.  He is very demanding and relational (it’s all good though).

When you are bogged down with stuff and people, life can become overwhelming and lead to bitterness.  So, I’ve re-dedicated my life and time to God..lets hope I don’t fall off the wagon again.  But seriously, when I ask God to show me things I need to give up, things that are hindering my walk and growth in Him, it’s really eye-opening to say the least.  Get ready for painful moments and conversations with God, people and most importantly yourself.

I desire my life to reflect a continual state of refreshing and renewal, repentance and restoration, loving and being loved.  My challenge for me and you: we allow God to grow and mature us by developing a closer relationship with Him through His Word, prayer and fasting.  I personally never want to be or have relationships that are regressive and stagnate or live an unfulfilling busy life.

Psalm 103:5  who satisfies your mouth (your necessity and desire at your personal age and situation) with good so that your youth, renewed, is like the eagle’s (strong, overcoming, soaring)!  (AMPC)

Be Blessed…. #purposeREVEALED