Determined To BE….ME!

I’m determined to be ME!! Now the question is which me is that going to be…Shakespeare is popping in my head right now: to be or not to be that is the question, haha.  Do I want to be the person of old, my BC (Before Christ) self or allow the Holy Spirit to make and mold me into someone that reflects Christ’s character?  This is a daily decision I have to make (oftentimes I feel I fall very short).  How I respond to situations and people, do I practice self control, do I show others love and grace, are my words seasoned with honey and not vinegar, am I slow to wrath but quick to listen without getting my point across or being correct….you see where I’m going?  Honestly, sometimes this seems like an impossible feat for ME.  But the small soft voice inside tells me that nothing is impossible for my God.  When I’m weak His strength is made perfect in me.  If I allow Him to take control and submit my will to His, then these battles I fight daily MUST go away or a least lessen……right?

I read this in a devotional a while back but can’t recall where.  It has really been resonating in my spirit the last couple of weeks.  It talked about asking God for tough skin and a soft heart.  You see we as Christians are held to a higher standard, so I’ve been told, so there is a certain level behavior we should strive to attain…and I do mean STRIVE.  We can’t wear our feelings on our sleeves (oh that’s me…I’m just being REAL today), we must use godly wisdom in day to day situations and conversations, show love to people even when we don’t receive or think we’re not receiving it, can’t always be right or not able to take feedback.  All feedback isn’t critisim or should I say it isn’t always negative.  But if you take it that way then it’s time to look within.  And maybe it is negative or you feel misunderstood, we still have to learn to take what is for us and toss the rest.  I’m learning not to internalize stuff so much…that causes heart issues ( I mean spiritually).  And a stony, hardened heart is not going to exhibit Christ-like behavior.  I don’t think God changes your whole being, like you become something totally different.  I think he reshapes and brings to the surface what He deposited in me at birth before life and sin took hold.  He works with my personality, quirks, wit, sarcasm, insecurities, etc bringing the good to the surface…filing away the roughness, haha.

As I examine the ME I want to be, some praise and worship lyrics came to mind: open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see you and take my mind, take my heart, take my soul and never let me go.  You  see, God often gives me song lyrics to redirect my thoughts or just to minister to me.  These words are my hearts desire straight to God from God…I need Him to  transplant and gut out the old ways and habits from me and transform ME into what He sees and says I am and should be.  I’m asking God to reverse ME..give me tough skin and a soft heart.

What ME do you want to be in this life?  I want to be the ME now that will get ME to the after life…eternity with my Savior…DETERMINED!!

Peace and Blessings till next time!!