All week I have been reading my KHAOS daily affirmations, examining my attitude about me, writing down my issues and prayers of repentance/change. If I’m going to be healthy, wealthy, and wise in GOD this is a mandatory and life altering process. It’s interesting how the Holy Spirit nudges you, trying to show you things that need correcting but you don’t always listen. Eventually we fall in line and say “Lord, HELP because I just CAN’T anymore.” He knows the areas of struggle, the things we need to rid ourselves of, our hinderances and hurts. God has a way of gracefully breaking us (Tasha Cobbs’ song)…for His glory and making us more Christ-like.
Keep in mind what KHAOS means: keep healing and overcoming struggles, as I continue with the RAW concept. RAW means realize, admit, work (through it). I’m realizing my issues, admitting its time to change my thought processes and allowing God to show me how to work through the issues. Most of the “working through it” is in my mind….being renewed and transformed.
Lets see if I can make this a little clearer. I feel like I’m the gift inside many many boxes. I’m sure you’ve seen, received, or given a gift in various sized boxes and the person has to keep opening each box until finally a small box is left but reveals a GRAND GIFT. Well that’s the journey I’m on to a better self image, greater confidence and self esteem. This is only happening because I’m allowing the Holy Spirit to work on ME…cleanse, reveal, make, mold, grow, conform….break and put back together but only better than before.
I’m like a mosaic butterfly (my term) in the making. I have some cracks, broken pieces, and sometimes an ugly hard heart (cocoon) but God still loves me. He is rearranging, throwing away and placing the pieces together to reveal an amazing rebirth. He is giving me a testimony to share, not hide or be ashamed. A testimony that will help others to heal and be fulfilled in God. ALL I need to do is get RAW. Since God knows all about me I can trust whatever He reveals to me is correct. When I realize and admit I need His help to change and work through issues, then I can continue breaking out of the cocoon to become the beautiful, gracefully broken mosaic butterfly He wants me to be.
Since He is my strength this should be a piece of cake, a walk in the park…hahaha