Independence–is freedom from the control or influence of others.
When did this word start having such a negative connotation especially when it comes to single women??? Well society in my mind has made it a negative word. (Beyonce and Destiny’s Child didn’t help the matter..LOL) Some women even me have bought into the “independent mentality” especially when referring to men and relationships. I can’t count the times have I said “I don’t need a man.” Not realizing or even caring that it was coming from a place of deep deep hurt and brokenness.
SO, let me get deep on ya’ll…LOL. God is the only one that gives us true unlimited independence and freedom. II Corinthians 3:17 says “now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty.” When we accept the Lord into our lives and come unto repentance, the Holy Spirit lives inside you and the HEALING starts….continuously as we submit to God’s will. The Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth..if we allow Him.
When we believe we don’t need people or relationships, we must realize that’s not healthy or part of God’s plan. We can’t live on this earth without Him or people and complete our purpose in life. So, when I use to say I don’t need a man…or anybody else for that matter, I had to allow God to search my heart and start to heal the brokenness and hurt from past relationships. NEED is a strong word but I understand the concept now. Yes, God has blessed me to afford certain material things, have degrees and a career. But that doesn’t replace having wholesome relationships…and yes one day with my husband. I realize there are life experineces and growth that can only occur if I allow God to open my heart to the possibilities. IN the meantime, I continue growing spiritually FIRST and allowing God to help me develop other relationships.
Proverbs 3:5-7 says “trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” This means in every situation, relationship, decision, thought…trust GOD and seek Him for direction….yes even in dating after the healing has occured.
Independent brokenness ain’t cute or healthy….DON’T LET THE WORLD’S MENTALITY TRIP YOU UP!!!