50 years…Jubilee

It seems like I just wrote to you, haha.  I’m too excited about what is about to transpire in the next 10 minutes as I type this blog.  I will be 50 years old..I’m TOO EXCITED!!  These last two years of my life living for God have been the BEST years of my life.  I just want more and more of Him…more of His plans for me…more of me getting busy doing kingdom work.  It seems I’m just not satisfied staying the same.  I feel like the little engine that could only I know I can if I continue to trust and believe God.  He is my strength and I know He is the ability within me.

The title of this blog is 50 years..Jubilee.  It’s jubilant because I feel like I have only just started to live.  God is answering prayers concerning my life and people around me.  The most important prayer I have is for spiritual prosperity.  I’m expecting greater manifestations of God in ALL areas of my life.  As I obey Him I believe He is faithful to continue to bless me.

My friends were asking what I was going to do for my birthday…I just couldn’t be bothered with a party.  Then the Holy Spirit brought back to my remembrance a prayer I prayed last year…”Lord, I would like to have a year of travels for my 50th.”  Guess what!! That has happened for me…some planned, not planned and plans changed but through it all God has shown me He provides ALL.  My dream trip was going to NYC.  At times I doubted it would happen but My God is bigger than any doubt and when I exercised just a lil bit of faith…He worked it out!!

My year of Jubilee will not end Oct 31st but continue on…I believe that whole heartedly.  I believe God has great things in store for me, my family, friends and church family.  I’m learning the true meaning of obedience is better than sacrifice.  Praying and asking God for a humble spirit, pure motives and desire to do His will….well that makes for a Jubilant life!!!

This blogger is 50 and fabulous, saved by God’s grace and enjoying a life of health, strength, and peace–All due to God’s LOVE!!!

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY TO ME….MY FATHER IN HEAVEN LOVES ME DEARLY!!

Who Knew???

Hello My cyber loves!!!  I actually do love love love to blog.  It’s teaching me how to listen to the Holy Spirit for guidance.  My prayer is that whatever I blog, it’s edifying the reader and glorifying God.  I know this is part of my life’s purpose so maybe that’s why I love to do it.  I was once told “God was giving me a voice.” I didn’t know exactly what that meant totally but some things are becoming clearer.  I pray for wisdom and guidance so I’m in His will.

I recently admitted to a friend how I didn’t like the sound of my voice…never have..I know crazy right?!  This coupled with having a fear of public speaking has kept me bound for soooooo long.  I see now how I’ve allowed the enemy to prevent me from walking and talking in my God-given destiny.  This blog is just the beginning.  God has blessed me, healed me and is delivering me from sooo much!!  I can’t allow my insecurities, doubts, wavering faith and fears keep me quite any longer.  I/We MUST step out the boat like Peter, keep our eyes on Jesus and move in faith knowing God has a plan, He reveals it and will hold our hands to the end.

My life is in the TO BE CONTINUED MODE………………………FOLLOWING MY SAVIORS LEAD!!!

Blessings and Peace Always!!

 

My Testimony…….

As I sit here blogging on a Saturday nite…quite content I might add, I’m reminiscing about my life.  I will be 50 years old in 3 days….it’s unbelievable!! I’ve never really pictured myself being 50.  Not that I thought I wouldn’t be alive but it just wasn’t something in the forefront of my thoughts EXCEPT when I thought about marriage.  I remember when I was in graduate school, I prayed “Lord let me finish this degree before I turn 40”. He blessed me to finish…GOD does hear sinners prayers.  Somewhere between 40-45 years of age, I prayed “Lord, I need to be married by the time I’m 50.”  In my mind that was going to make me feel like I had accomplished everything or most everything in life I wanted.  I’ve never had a problem with my age but being 50 and not married I told myself that was not acceptable…who wants to be an old maid?  Who wants to keep hearing people say “oh your not married” or “when are you getting married” or “do you date” or ‘do you like men”…..I could go on and on.

So while I was worried about a mate and people, my soul was dying and lost.  See the GREAT thing about God is He doesn’t listen to people.  He follows HIs plan for my life and kept trying to draw me to HIs path. Well, I finally realized in 2015 that my life was headed straight to HELL…I needed GOD and no one else….NO ONE!!  Surrendering my life to GOD in February 2015 on Super Bowl Sunday was the absolute best thing that could have EVA happened to me AND I haven’t regretted not one day.  I often think “what took me so long to step into HIs will.”  But because He is a long-suffering God, He kept drawing me.

My main desire after getting saved was building my relationship with God.  I wanted to know all about Him for myself.  I wanted to know what His voice sounded like speaking to me.  I wanted to know how to pray for me, my family and other Christians.  I wanted whatever God had for me…I wanted purpose for my life.  Thinking about a man was not on my agenda..it was actually a distraction.  So I asked God to clear my thoughts, put blinders on my eyes and help me focus on Him.  This didn’t just happen over night. It took my desire and action.  Action was going to bible study, Sunday school, worship services, reading my Word, listening to Christian programs and music.  Not only doing these things but praying and fasting and asking God to heal and deliver me from whatever needed to be released so I could mature in Him.  We have to apply God’s commands and precepts to our lives and only the Holy Spirit can do it for you.

You see, no relationship is more important than the one we build with the Father.  He will provide whatever we need in HIs perfect timing….and I’m trusting Him to do just that.  As I seek Him, He delivers me, prunes me, purges me, matures me, guides me, loves me, comforts me, heals me, equips and prepares me.

The grass is greener on this side…side of salvation.  I have a Source that is all powerful, knowing, and present.  He knows my beginning to end and everything in between.  He has already provided me with godly relationships so I have comfort in knowing He is preparing me for my husband one day.  He is writing my love story and If God is the author and finisher of my life, I know it will continue to be grand.  So, while I no longer worry about being married by the time I’m 50….clearly that isn’t going to happen in 3 days anyway…I’m cool with that.  God did that for me.  He has proven He is all I’ll ever need.  He fills my voids with perfect love.  I’m complete and accomplished in Him.  That’s the GREATEST 50th BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER!!!

MAY YOU KNOW THE GOD OF PEACE IN YOUR LIFE!!!

FORGIVENESS……….

One of the most crucial things I’m learning in my Christian walk is the power of forgiveness.  I didn’t realize how much anger and resentment I could harbor in my heart…absolutely amazing and scary.  God has a way of revealing yourself to you…breaking you all the way down.  But the awesome thing is, He does it sooooo lovingly.  If you look in your bible concordance, you will find numerous scriptures related to forgiveness ….go look, that’s your homework, haha.

My road to forgiving started with me realizing I had to forgive GOD.  Yes, I said God.  Because I blamed Him for things in my life: death of loved ones, being single, family matters, childhood hurt, etc etc…basically anything I viewed as bad.  But because God is patient and loving…He didn’t kick me to the curb…like I did Him or will do to people.  I want to live a life pleasing to God and yes, one day make it to heaven so love and forgiveness are a must have in my heart and life.  I realize only God can give me the ability to exude these qualities…genuinely.  I’m trying to believe daily that things are allowed to happen in life to draw me closer to Him not away.  After all, He is the Creator of All and All powerful and nothing absolutely nothing happens to me that He isn’t already aware of or has given me the ability to go and grow through.

Next I had to learn to forgive myself even after God has already forgiven me.  This takes prayer and fasting and faith.  I truly believe I’m my own worst enemy sometimes.  God’s love corrects and comforts me through this madness also.  I just have to allow His love and Word to penetrate my mind and heart.

Now something I never I thought I could do…forgive people that have wronged me…past or present.  It’s one thing to say you forgive someone but for me the true test is how my heart feels when I see you again.  How I treat you and most importantly can I PRAY FOR YOU….in LOVE?? Oh My GOD….only He can strengthen me for this sometimes daunting task.  But what I can say is….it’s happening and for that I am eternally grateful to MY SAVIOR.

Allowing God to heal, deliver and mature you in your singleness will bring you so much joy and peace but most importantly a closer relationship with Him.  His lovingkindness is making. molding and preparing me for all current and future relationships…even my spouse.  PEACE OUT!!

 

MY SINGLENESS IS……..

MY SINGLENESS is saved, gifted, satisfying, beautiful, courageous, confident, free, mature yet still growing daily, wise but needing more wisdom, independent, vulnerable, reliable, complete as in WHOLE, loving, giving, respectful, joyous, alone not lonely, beautifully broken, mosaic, adventurous, caring, cautious, self aware, sensitive……I could go on.

My point is my singleness is a POSITIVE not a negative.  Not a status to be wished away but enjoyed.  It’s my being, my make up, MY LIFE….all because I’m a child of the Most High God!!  This is ME in HIM….Fearfully and wonderfully made with an expectation of an awesome future in the making.

What does your singleness look like?  If you have more negatives than positives, pray and open your heart to the Savior for discovery, healing and deliverance to lead the ultimate single life in Christ.

Be BLESSED!!!!

JOURNALING, PART II

I’M BAAACK my cyber loves!!!  So let’s revisit journaling again.  I believe there are some spiritual benefits to writing in a journal…according to me.  There are all kinda journals to choose from, it really depends on you and your focus.  I suggest having at least one blank-page journal and one subject focused journal.

Writing in a blank journal was very intimidating to me at first…I have no idea why.  Maybe I thought I needed assistance with writing down my thoughts.  Well that’s the beauty of having a blank journal…I can just write whatever comes to mind: issues, drama, hopes, divine revelations (yes, it happens), feelings about people and events.  I just let it flow especially if I notice certain things keep coming to mind. Concerns and worries…especially before bed or if I’m awakened by them.  Surprisingly, it clears my mind so I can go to sleep…peacefully.  Now that’s a GREAT stress reducer…getting sleep.

Another benefit of blank (canvas) journaling is you can use your entries as written prayers to God.  Say what’s on your heart, release it, ask for guidance and watch Him work things out.  It’s wonderful to see written prayers especially when they are answered.  Sometimes I realize what I wrote wasn’t even what I needed but things worked out for the best because I trusted God.

Devotional type journals with specific themes,  questions and scriptures can aide in your learning and meditating on scripture, applying them to daily living, and identifying areas for growth.  I’ve even seen journals targeted to certain groups of people.  For instance, my Mom had a journal that required her to write and answer specific things related to what she wanted her children to know about her.  THIS IS A GEM TO ME!!!  When she transitioned in 2008, me and my siblings took turns reading it…it’s like we have a forever piece of her on paper.  We often know what’s important to people but to see it written down is just PRICELESS!!  One day I’ll share it with her grandchildren 🙂

SO, whatever type of journaling you decide to participate in, I believe it can totally be life changing when it’s used to grow and edify you personally and spiriutally.  PEACE OUT!!

 

Journaling….It HELPS

HELLO, MY CYBER READERS!!  It’s been several days since I last blogged but I haven’t forgotten about you.  I’ve been busy with work and attending my church’s AWAKENING services…need my spirit-man fed.  I just wanted to stop in and talk about journaling.  As I stated in a previous post I didn’t always see the purpose.  I remember in high school English class, my teacher waned us to write daily and he would sporadically go around reading our entries.  This was the most ridiculous thing to me and often I just made up stuff to write or I would say “I hate writing in this journal” knowing full well he would read it…who does that…ME!!  Now I’m older and hopefully a little wiser and nicer so here is my take on what sold me on journaling.

After my Mother transitioned in 2008 I started keeping a journal.  My Mother wrote in journals…I still have hers.  Anyway, this helped me write down how I was feeling because nobody could listen to me all the time…nor did I want to talk to people all the time about things I was feeling.  Writing helped clear my mind…my inner most thoughts, feeling, and concerns were written for my eyes only….now I know God saw and heard those thoughts/feelings also.  I didn’t write daily, sometimes I went long periods of time without writing and mostly wrote at night before bed.

Fast forward to 2015, I gave my life to the Lord…BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!!!  When I went back and read some of the entries I wrote…OMGAWD…I was a suicide waiting to happen.  People would have been saying ‘we didn’t think she would do something like that.”  You just never know what people are going through so be prayerful.  I was just going through the motions of life, depressed and not really knowing how depressed I was, no joy and no real happiness or satisfaction…always searching for something…not finding it UNTIL I LET GOD IN MY HEART.  HE stepped in right in time.  My journal entries have changed: uplifting, empowerment for my spiritual walk and maturity.  Yes I still have concerns but I don’t let them consume me because I have a Saviour who is my Jehovah Jirah (Provider), Jehovah Shalom (Peace), Jehovah Rohi (Shepard), Jehovah Rophe (Healer) and My ROCK…My ALL AND ALL.

SO, I encourage you to journal.  Use your entries as prayers to God..release worries, fears, strife, hopes, and dreams to Him as you write and sincerely pray….He listens and answers.  Be blessed and happy writing…Your mind, body, and soul will thank you!!